Love is here.
Khmer love is rooted in family, honor, and survival. Our people are no strangers to struggle and loss, which is why we hold all that is sacred so closely to our hearts, guarding them with our lives. And even though much of our parents and elders escaped genocide through the jungle to get to this foreign land — another jungle which worked them until their bones bent permanently— you will find being held within their hearts, gratitude and hope. Gratitude for being able to fill loved ones’ bellies, for peaceful rest, for another day. Hope for the next generation of Cambodians, that they will live better, more secure lives. While we still face the trauma from our past & challenges of our present, every one of us holds these traits, passed down by those who fought to live for us. We have their strength and now it is our turn to uphold and preserve our roots.
Spending that humid, vibrant day witnessing such an intimate and beautiful wedding ceremony, I was reminded again and again with every welcoming smile, invitation to eat, and through the respect shown between the young & old, that love is here.
Hai Goan Gomloh – Groom’s Parade & Dowry Ceremony
Standing beneath golden umbrellas, the groom walks toward the bride’s family home where she awaits his arrival. He holds a golden tray, and on it a golden sword. Behind him, are his family, friends, and guests, all bearing gifts to be laid out as an offering to the bride’s family - a gesture of respect and proof of his ability to provide. Khmer marriage is not just a union between two individuals but between their two families.
Gaat Sah – Hair-Cutting/Cleansing Ceremony
To cleanse their past and symbolize their fresh start together, the couple sits down next to each other to receive symbolic hair cuts and blessings from their loved ones. Using ceremonial scissors, the master of the ceremony will cut first, then the parents, followed by relatives and friends. The bride and groom are also being spritzed with fragrances and blessed with rose water while reflecting on their ‘new look’ in a ceremonial mirror.
Soat Mun – Monk Blessing
A majority Buddhist country, monks have a crucial role in Cambodian culture, including weddings. During this part of the ceremony, monks come to the home to bless the couple and their immediate family, who are all gathered in the sunroom. The monks lights special red candles before showering them in rose water while singing blessings. Everyone tries their best to remain silent, their heads are bowed and hands in prayer during the ceremony. Afterward, the bride and groom shows their respect and appreciation to the monks through the offering of gifts.
Bang Chhat Madaiy – Honoring the Parents
A truly heartfelt moment in the day is the honoring of the parents. The parents sit at the center of the room while the bride and groom, holding above them golden umbrellas, provides them with shade. This signifies their gratitude for their parents sacrifices to care for them and a promise to return the protection and love they were given. The bride and groom lays in the lap of their parents, for a moment kids again, comfortable and at ease in their embrace. They listen together as the master of the ceremony speaks on the importance of looking to their parents as models for their marriage.
Sompeas Ptem – Knot-Tying Ceremony
An emotional ending to this day-long ceremony, the bride and groom, still dressed in light blue, lay forward with their wrists resting on a gold pillow. In turns, guests tie a red string around their wrists, first dipping it in rose water, to bless the young couple with happiness, good health, and a long life filled with love. Guests are also gifting the couple with envelopes of money. As more and more loved ones share their blessings, the bride and groom become witness to the overwhelming power of love from their community.
The guests congratulate the newly-wedded couple by throwing palm flowers as the bride, with the groom holding her garment from behind, parades out of the sunroom and into the start of their new life together.
